Here are David and I in the yard of our Wallin grandparents home in Walnut Creek California. January 1947, I spent that fall in California, with my grandparents. why was I there at that time? I think my great and kind God gave that time of peace for my mental health and growth.
The family came out and took me back to that farm. It was a respite from the cruelty of life on that farm, a time when I tasted the goodness of being with people who were functional, what we call good people. Christan people.
I do remember being in a classroom of children my age. I felt like a duck out of water. They were learning and quoting bible scriptures. Grandmother let me stay with her during bible class while being criticized for doing so. She spoiled all members of her family, even me. Although I discovered when I was forty two years old that she had known about Charles’s abuse of me. He had known there was nothing she could do about it, but that was when I lost my grandmother. An experience perhaps for another blog, perhaps not.
I have always remembered a few of the events of my childhood. Not many, but a few.
As I was out about one day on the farm, entertaining myself, I happened to notice Frances and David, outside together doing something. I was drawn to go and see what was going on. Now, I had been well trained and knew I was never to interfere upon their time together. Curiosity did get the better of me, and off I went.
David had a rifle and was showing Frances how well he could hit a target. As I stood behind them, they were looking for a target, I piped up and said, ” shoot the sunflower off of the stem”. They turned angerly back toward me. David shoved the rifle at me and said, “you do it”.Of course, it was an impossible shot. the sunflowers grew wild and were beautiful small flowers sat upon tiny stems that moved at the hint of a breeze.
I did not know what to do with the rifle, never having seen one before, much less held one. They were gracious enough to show me how to line up the stem in the sight. So I lined up the gun site with the sunflower stem and pulled the trigger. My God whom I adore is so good to his children, because to everyone’s amazement, the flower flew off the stem. That made them even angrier. The rifle was snatched out of my hands and as they turned their backs on me, as usual, I no longer existed.
Off I went to spend my time alone, gratefully not with Charles, But on my own to enjoy my imagination, playing in the beautiful New Mexico sunshine. I was happy as I enjoyed the many interesting areas a child could explore the wilderness of that farm.
In the photo, David is on the far right, as far away from me as he could get. I thought he had set the stars in heaven and ignored, if I ever noticed, how he loathed me.
That was life on the farm.